Ever feel like things are out of control? I hate that feeling. Then I realize how stupid it is that I even think that because that means I think that I am in control and isn’t that an arrogant thought! There are indeed parts of my life that I currently have direct influence over but that is about the extent of it.
This week a good friend of mine has been helping me put American Clay on the walls of our kitchen and dinning room. It is a truly unique product that creates a really authentic feel. My friend has done this clay process many times before and graciously volunteered to help me. In simple terms the process involves taking a glue/sand primer mixture and painting it on the walls then taking mud, rubbing it on the walls, letting it dry and doing it again. If there was ever something that I never expected to do in my life it was rubbing mud on my walls! The process is messy and lengthy but the end result is truly beautiful. After two days of application the job still isn’t done. Now we need to moisten the walls and compact the clay against the wall. After that we are going to apply a tea colored pigment to add a little extra depth.
Above: mixing the moss colored pigment into the clay.
While the process progresses we have drop cloths, painters tape and plastic adorning our kitchen and dining room in an attempt to keep the clay on the walls and not the rest of the house. Our fridge is in the middle of the kitchen floor and ladders scale the walls. As excited as I am to be doing this project, the inability to really clean up the house creates within me an unsettling feeling–like an itch that can’t be scratched. I am an organizer, a cleaner. When my home is clean and organized I feel like I can relax, I feel in control of things on the home front.
As I put our evening dishes in the dishwasher tonight I fought the urge creeping up inside of me to rip down the plastic draping the cabinets above my head. As I drifted into my daydream of crazy drop cloth purging God gently reminded me that I am being a brat. He reminded me that I have a HOME when more people that I can even wrap my mind around have nothing to call their own right now in Haiti. I have a FAMILY when so many more can no longer hang on to that truth. I have CLEAN CLOTHES and will crawl into a WARM BED tonight. I HAVE WAY MORE TO BE THANKFUL FOR than I can even list. How dare I be irritated at the mess in my kitchen?!
And as I start to be overwhelmed at the thoughts surrounding those in Haiti I am also reminded of the bigger picture that although I am not, God IS in control. He has a plan. He begins it in Genesis “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” and he will be the one to see it through to the end by saying “Yes I am coming soon” in the last verse of the bible in Revelation 22:20. Stupid sin has tangled up a huge mess that has complicated everything but it is nothing that won’t be corrected by our Savior. If we have placed our trust in Him, we are given a glimpse of our future in heaven by reading Revelation 22:1-3a “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse.” I love that image! It shows us many things but tonight it reminds me that God has a plan and it includes life, endless fruit and divine healing. Forget my kitchen, God’s spread is way more enticing!